I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
