Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
