Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
