I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
