respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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