his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize