lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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