Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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