You can't motorboat a personality
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
