ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dick very happy bro
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
