Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
