the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
