my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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