But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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