you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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