people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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