he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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