so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
