he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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