I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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