We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
