im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
