Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
