maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize