Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize