the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...