I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
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It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.