Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
