If that was your dad, he is hot
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize