OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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