Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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