sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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