I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.