I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.