I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.