so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.