I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.