CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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