a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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