Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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