how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
