I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
