He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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