quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
