ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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