yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
