I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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