Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
