Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
