you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am midnight drunk by noon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
