Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
