The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
