You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
