My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
