Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
