It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
