physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
high people should be assigned attendants
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
