the new term for farting is butt boxing.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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