Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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