Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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