I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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