I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
